December 9, 2008

How Are You Playing The Game?   No, I'm not talking about checkers, chess, gin rummy, or even football.    The game is LIFE, and what an adventure it is.    It's a great game to play.  Yet, how are you playing the game?   "On any adventure, we have a choice.  We can try to simply survive it - clinging to the hope we will get to the end unscathed - or we can try to thrive, allowing the adventure to grow us in ways we could not have imagined when we began," say Larry and Hersch Wilson in their book, Play to Win.   You can play not to lose, OR, you can play to win.  There is a difference, and it's HUGE!   Playing not to lose is basically about avoiding fear.  The fear of failure, embarrassment, rejection, of not measuring up to others, of not belonging, of risk, and more.   Picture yourself as a youngster, wanting desperately to play football, and trying out for the team.  Yet you are laughed at by other members of the team who are stronger, faster, and bigger.  Forget that, you tell yourself, and you give up on your dream.  What's worse is that you vow that you will never put yourself in a similar situation again.   Playing not to lose becomes your motto.  "When we play not to lose, the game is about survival.  To survive we need to avoid the awful stuff that we have imagined over the years might happen to us if we take a risk," say theWilsons.   Playing not to lose is all about playing it safe.   Playing to win means playing to grow.  You consciously put yourself in situations that will fuel your growth and commit yourself to going as far as you can in the game.  "Emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth are the game's payoff," say the authors.   You know what you want for yourself in life and you're playing to have it!  You leave all your insecurities and negative voices behind. You are willing to be comfortable being uncomfortable because that is what it will take to stretch yourself and go as far as you can.    Playing not to lose or playing to win will determine the prizes you receive from life, according to theWilsons.     Playing not to lose prizes: Being right Success Being in control Being accepted Comfort Convenience   Playing to win prizes: Truth Growth Fun Curiosity Healthy Relationships Joy Understanding Better health Love Fulfillment   Which prizes do you want? You choose how you play the game.    I challenge you to play to win.  Thrive in the adventure of life.     "Think of life as a process of choices, one after another.  At each point there is a progression choice and regression choice.  There may be movement towards defense, towards safety, towards being afraid; but over on the other side, there is the growth choice.  To make the growth choice instead of the fear choice a dozen times a day is to move a dozen times a day towards self-actualization."             Abraham Maslow, The Farther Reaches of Human Nature     "And then suppose that the spirit has conquered and you have done this impossible thing, do you not find afterwards that you possess yourself in a sense that you never had before?  That there is more of you?...So it is throughout life...you know "nothing ventured nothing won" is true in every hour, it is the fibre of every experience that signs itself into the memory."             J.N. Figgis     I read Play to Win in the late 1990's and resonated with much of the message, for I've been know to play it safe more often than not.  Yet, afterwards, the book sat on my bookshelf for many years until I pulled it out the other day.  Hmm, am I gearing up for the New Year?  Was it time to hear the play to win message again?   I had forgotten how much the book "spoke" to me and I don't think it was a coincidence that it caught my attention again.  It's time to play to win in the New Year.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained [won].  Time to win!   Have a fantastic week and play to win.   Stephanie     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com