November 14, 2006

I Can Do It!   "Oh no, I could never do that.  That's too hard." "What do you mean no? That's so easy!  Watch me." "Yes, I can do that!"   Self-confidence "is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes - the abilities, inner resources, talents, and skills to create your desired results," according to author Jack Canfield.    Do you have what it takes?  Which statement above do you identify with? What is your confidence level?    Low self-confidence is synonymous with low self-esteem.  Your parents were your first teachers.  What did they teach you?  What did you hear? ·        You can do it...if you work hard. ·        You can do it...if you pay the price. ·        You can't do that.  It's too hard. ·        You can't do that.  You're not smart enough. ·        You can't do that.  You've never done it before.   These conditional statements and limiting messages impacted your attitudes about yourself.  They were later reinforced by your teachers, colleagues, friends, other family members, and yes, even yourself.  You truly believe "I can't".  You live with self doubt, are critical of yourself, and become paralyzed with anxiety over performing simple tasks, let alone complicated ones.  You work hard and harder to prove that you can do it, yet the prize is still elusive.  Low self-confidence keeps you from living life, both personally and professionally to your fullest potential.  It weakens you as it becomes a destructive state of mind.   Over-confidence is the opposite extreme of low self-confidence and just as destructive.  No doubt you have met people who: ·        are self absorbed ·        feel that they are better than everyone else ·        are bad listeners (after all, they know it all) ·        are boastful ·        always have something to say about everything ·        believe their opinion is the only one ·        trivialize their actions and never consider the risks ·        are overconfident to the point of being foolish ·        crash big time when life hands them a lemon   Over-confident people have few friends for being around them is exhausting and not fun. Who wants to be around people who are so self-absorbed?  Their business relationships suffer for the same reasons.   Move to the center and you will find the confident people.  They have a realistic view of themselves and their abilities and achieve the balance between being under and over confident.  These are the people who: ·        believe they can and hence move forward ·        take informed risks ·        are able to stretch themselves ·        have a positive attitude ·        attract success ·        instill confidence in others ·        are grounded ·        learn from their mistakes ·        are not swayed by what others say about them   Confident people are fun to be around.  They attract success and other successful people into their life.  They live life to the fullest.   Six tips to improve your self-confidence: Be mindful of your self talk.  Defeat your limiting beliefs. Keep a positive attitude. Capitalize on your strengths.  Take risks, baby steps at first, then move on to greater challenges. Learn from your mistakes.  Do not be paralyzed by them. Never give away your power to others or to circumstances.  Keep it for yourself.   Self-confidence keeps you centered and on the balance beam.  It is a skill to be developed so that you believe you have what it takes to live your best life.  You can do it!        "The phrase I can't is the most powerful force of negation in the human psyche."             Paul Scheele   "Confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible"             Jack Welch   "The stretch of the limousine usually is inversely proportional to the self-esteem of the person riding in it."             Denis Waitley    "Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy."             Brain Tracy          I was moved by a presentation I heard during the ADA Woman's Conference while in Las Vegas.  Suzie Humphreys spoke of her "I Can Do That" attitude.  Her message took me back to my childhood and to the "no can do" signals I received from my parents.  I was a bright child but I lived often with self doubt.  It was either too hard, or I didn't think I was able to do it, or I couldn't do it by myself, or it wasn't even worth trying, ...and the list goes on.   I was also revisiting the messages I gave my children when they were young.  Ouch.   I was reminded of how defeating the "I Can't Do It" attitude is, and how easy it is to slip back into that mode.  Yet I was also reminded to be balanced, be grounded, and to stay in my own power.  I can create the life I want and I do have what it takes.  I Can Do It!  Journey on!   Have a fantastic week and yes, you can do it!   Stephanie        We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com