October 31, 2006

Get Over It   "Get over it Get over it All this whinin and cryin and pitchin a fit Get over it, get over it   You drag it around like a ball and chain You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down Complain about the present and blame it on the past...   Get over it Get over it It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit Get over it, get over it."                         The Eagles had it right.  Get over it.  Grudges against others have a way of destroying your spirit as you drag your grudges around like a ball and chain.  Holding onto your anger and resentments harms you way more than it does the other person(s).  Your feet get firmly planted in the "I've been wronged" quicksand and you find it difficult, if not impossible, to step out.  Your zest for life suffers as your thoughts constantly take you back to this victim place.  You dwell in negativity and render the law of positive attraction unable to work its magic in your life.   How can you rise up and become a victor over anger and resentment?  Follow these steps.   Acknowledge that you are carrying a grudge and write down how you are feeling.  Get it out of your system and onto paper. Ask yourself these questions:  "What benefits am I receiving by continuing to harbor this grudge?"   "What's in it for me?" Then ask:  "What am I losing by dragging around this ball and chain?" Write down how your life will be different when you get over this grudge.  What changes will you see? Speak to the person who figuratively gave you the ball and chain.  This should not be done during the height of your anger, but rather after you have completed steps 1-4.  Come from a place of peace. Gain closure and forgive. OR If you are unable or unwilling to speak to the person write them a letter expressing how you feel and what you would like to see happen.  Then tear the letter into pieces.  Toss it in the trash or pack it into a balloon, blow it up, and release it into the sky.  Let your anger float away.  Tell yourself that you will not give this resentment another thought and move on.  Keep the above visuals in mind when your thoughts take you back to this hurtful place. By forgiving and not dwelling on this grudge anymore you can move forward and attract the positive into your life.   Yes, it is difficult to let go, but do yourself a favor.  "What can hurt you even more is harboring the resentment, holding a grudge, and rerunning the same hatred over and over.  The word forgive really means to give it up for yourself - not for them", says Jim Rohn.          "As long as you don't forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind."             Isabelle Holland   "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Buddha   "He who angers you conquers you."  Elizabeth Kenny    "Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love."             Leo Buscaglia          It is hard to forgive, forget, and let go.  I've been wronged, made to feel like the bad guy multiple times, and suffered in silence way too much. Does anyone believe the silent treatment works?  I've also wanted revenge.  An exit interview with a hygienist brings to mind behavior that I am not proud of.  I was bitter she was leaving and let my anger get the better of me.  Lesson learned.  That was the tipping point for me.   I like to think I handle my anger and disappointments in healthier ways these days.  My goal is to "get over it" with grace.  I try to be the best that I can be and live my best life.  When I get over it I feel free and light and am able to embrace the future rather than stay mired in the painful past.   Have a fantastic week and get over it.   Stephanie   P.S. Are you having trouble getting over it?  Coaching can help.  It starts with a phone call (618-639-5433) or an email (drszh@7steps2abalancedlife.com).          We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com