October 27, 2009

Getting Your Way by Persuasion   I bet you begged and pleaded as a child for your parents to buy you a candy bar at the grocery store, to let you borrow the family car, or you pleaded with your teacher to believe the story that the dog ate your homework. That was persuasion.   And, you're still engaging in persuasion as an adult, when you talk your family and friends into eating at the restaurant of your choice, taking the beach vacation over the mountain one, or buying the car that's #1 on your list vs. #3 on your spouse's.    Furthermore, you are persuading your customers every day in your workplace.  How do you convince your dental patients to accept treatment?  How do you convince your customers that this is the TV or appliance for them or that this is the store they must shop in?  How do you convince your clients that this is the stock portfolio or insurance policy they must have?    "Getting your way and persuasion are the same almost, ... Persuasion is the tactic you use to get your way," says business guru Jeffrey Gitomer.   Persuasion is everywhere!  Get used to it.  Get good at it.  How?   Persuasion tips offered by Stephen R. Covey in his book, Principle-Centered Leadership:   The more a leader is honored, respected, and genuinely regarded by others, the more legitimate power [to persuade] he/she will have with others. Share reasons and rationale for doing it your way, and make a strong case for your position or desire while maintaining genuine respect for your followers' ideas and perspective.  Communication is key and it's a two way street.  Understanding, listening, empathy must all be present. Tell why as well as what. Commit to stay in the communication process until mutually beneficial and satisfying outcomes are reached.  Note the words mutually beneficial.  You both win!   Gitomer adds a tip: "If your self-belief is not strong enough to evoke and emote your passion, then others will not catch it, nor be convinced or persuaded that your idea, or your product, or your way, is best for them." You must believe in yourself, what you're doing, your product, and in your company, and then portray that confidence to others to fine-tune the persuasion process.   A nugget from Aristotle regarding leadership and the art of persuasion:  A good leader must possess ethos, pathos, and logos.  The ethos is his moral character, the source of his ability to persuade.  The pathos is his ability to touch feelings to move people emotionally.  The logos is his ability to give solid reasons for an action, to move people intellectually.   What's the end game of persuasion?"    "The key to getting your way is to let the other person feel great after he or she has decided to see it or do it your way," says Gitomer.   That's reason enough to get good at persuasion.     "Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer.  The one melts, the other breaks into pieces."             Henry David Thoreau   "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity."             Zig Ziglar   "Persuasion is often more effectual than force."             Aesop   "What happens when two people talk?  That is really the basic question here, because, that's the basic context in which all persuasion takes place."             Malcolm Gladwell     "Please" and "pretty please" worked a bit when I was a youngster to get what I wanted, so did crying and stomping my foot, but you won't find those persuasion tactics in the workplace today.  Can you only imagine!  When you utilize grown up skills to persuade, you'll find that persuasion will get you what you want while making the other person feel great also.  That's a win-win!    You won't need to persuade me to return toLake Chelan,WA.  The area was beautiful, nestled in theCascade Mountains, with the lake right outside my hotel room.  The leaves were an array of fall colors, the apples were being picked (it is the apple capital of theUS) and the grapes were being made into wine.  The hygienists I spoke with were engaged in the presentation and my keynote left everyone inspired to say "I can".  Thank you WA State Hygienists for a fabulous weekend.   A note of friendly persuasion: Contact me to inspire your group to live their lives to the fullest.   Have a fantastic week and get your way by persuasion.   Stephanie     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com