October 17, 2006

Six Rules to Stop Worrying   “Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”  Winston Churchill had it down pat when he said that.  You worry when life is good – “Oh, this isn’t going to last, something will happen to ruin it.”  You worry when life is troubled – “Now, what else is going to happen.”  While you are busy rocking and worrying, life is passing you by.    Worry plays havoc with your body.  It can interfere with your sleep, your focus on tasks at hand, your relationships, your work, your appetite, and your play time. The list goes on and on. It preoccupies your thoughts, energy, and your time so that you are unable to be in the moment.  The dread of what tomorrow can bring hovers above.   What’s more, most of what you’re worrying about never happens.  Then you look back in anger at all the doom and gloom you felt and ask yourself “why?”  In his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie outlines six rules to break the worry habit before it breaks you (with my personal comments).   Rule 1: Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy.  Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing “wibber gibbers.”  Haven’t you noticed that when you are busy your troubles disappear? Busyness can be great therapy.   Rule 2:  Don’t fuss about trifles.  Don’t permit little things – the mere termites of life – to ruin your happiness.  This is a biggie.  “Don’t sweat the small stuff” says Dr. Richard Carlson.  It’s such a waste of time.   Rule 3:  Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.  Ask yourself: “What are the odds against this thing’s happening at all?”  Yes, we’ve got vivid imaginations, but can this really happen? Get real.   Rule 4:  Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.” Wise words; it is what it is.  Accept it.   Rule 5:  Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth – and refuse to give it anymore.  Worry for five minutes, and then give it up.   Rule 6:  Let the past bury its dead.  Don’t saw sawdust.  You know you can not change the past so quit harping on it.   Give yourself time to implement these rules.  It takes 21 days to change a habit, and that’s what worry is.  Start with the small challenges and as you conquer these, move on to your perceived bigger worries.  When these overcome you, stop in your path, take three deep breaths, and review the rules. Avoid the path to nowhere and stop worrying.  It’s such a drain and life is out there waiting for you.  Join in!       “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”             Corrie Ten Boom   “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”             Buddha   “Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all.”             Ovid   “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.”             Wayne Dyer     I worry.  I admit it.  When my worries consume my thoughts day and night I need to review the 6 rules above.  Really, what is the worst that can happen?  Usually it is nothing I can’t deal with or it’s never going to come to fruition anyway, so why do I waste so much energy worrying about it?  I have to answer that question because worry does empty today of its strength.    Worry often gets me into action, though.  I tell myself to quit worrying and just do what I need to do to take care of the situation or problem.  “Just do it”, Nike says.  Haven’t you ever taken forever to fire an employee you knew you needed to remove or agonized over a decision you had to make for way too long?  I have.  Then you wish you had done it sooner. That’s wasted energy.   Quiet your worrying thoughts.  “Now is all we have.  Everything that has ever happened to you and anything that is ever going to happen to you, is just a thought” says Wayne Dyer.   Have a fantastic week and don’t worry, be happy.   Stephanie   P.S.  Read my latest The Mentor’s Mind column in the Woman Dentist Journal, “Conceive, Believe, and Achieve”.  Learn how not to be your own worst enemy. Click here.   P.P.S.  I am in Las Vegas this week attending the American Dental Association meeting and the American Association of Women Dentists 2007 board installation banquet.  Look for me at the slots when I am not in meetings!     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com