Chances are that problems arise in your life which must be attended to.  But, whose problem is it?  “If it turns out to be my problem, I hope you will help me with it.  If it turns out to be your problem, I will help you with it subject to the following condition: at no time while I’m helping you with your problem will your problem become my problem, because the minute your problem becomes my problem, you will no longer have a problem and I can’t help a person who does not have a problem!”  Wise words from the book, The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Kenneth Blanchard, William Oncken Jr., and Hal Burrows.  They describe a monkey buyer as one who takes on the problems of others (the monkey sellers). The buyer tends to carry the difficulties on his back, loses sleep over them, worries about them, and allows them to eat away at his time.  What’s worse is that the monkey seller is enjoying his freedom from the problem because it’s not his anymore!

Emotional issues are frequently behind this monkey B/S. Monkey buyers often want to prove to the world how capable, helpful, and responsible they are and that they are indispensable to the workplace. What’s more, they just might want to be in control, or, they simply could have trouble saying the “no” word. They also can view this as a means of increasing their likeability factor for what’s not to like about a person who is willing to bend over backwards to be helpful. Sadly, they pay the price for being a monkey buyer because it is a one way ticket to stress and a nasty tumble off the balance beam.  Emotional baggage can also affect the monkey sellers who often want all the credit but are not willing to do the work.  They can be mean, manipulative, lazy, unsure of themselves, and lack self confidence to get the job done. They frequently want to get rescued so they pawn the work off to a monkey buyer and in the process rob themselves of an opportunity to grow.

So, how do you halt the process of monkey B/S and hand over the monkey to its rightful owner? First, you must confront your patterns, recognize the toll they take on your personal and professional life, and have the desire to change.  This desire, coupled with the 4 rules of monkey management designed by Oncken will maximize your efforts:
• Rule 1 – Describe the Monkey – Once the parties involved have named the problem, then they must decide what the next move will be in order to solve it. 
• Rule 2 – Assign the Monkey – Someone must be placed in charge of the next move and be held accountable for its occurrence.  This is where the problem needs to be placed in the hands of the rightful owner.  
• Rule 3 – Insure the Monkey – As the manager/leader (or the dental practice owner) you are ultimately responsible for your team’s actions so you do want to put in safeguards for the next moves, while allowing for your team’s freedom to solve the problem, and not you.  These safeguards can be in the form of having the team member recommend several plans of action and then act on one of them with your approval, or by allowing the person to act on it first and then seek advice from you.  The later course presents a greater risk to the owner; at the same time it gives greater responsibility and self confidence to the employee.  As a parent, you decide how much leeway and guidance to give your child as he solves his own problems.
• Rule 4 – Check on the Monkey – Each monkey needs a specified check up appointment(s) so that progress can be monitored, praise for a job well done can be given (if appropriate) and course changes can be made if necessary. 

Recognize yourself as a monkey buyer/seller and stumbling?  What changes need to be made for you to walk the balance beam with greater ease?