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Stephanie Houseman, DMD, Coach, Author, Speaker, is the creator of the 7 Steps 2 a Balanced Life Program(TM). She works with professionals who feel their life is a juggling act and helps them to discover how to have more joy and more LIFE in their life. She is committed to assisting you in restoring balance in your personal and professional life.
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Ya Gotta Have Friends
"Ya gotta have friends," sang Bette Midler. She's right! You've got to have friends because they help you live longer. Of course, that's not the only reason, but consider this study:
The Australian Longitudinal Study of Aging found that people with close friendships were 22 % more likely to live longer. Nearly 1500 people were followed for ten years, and although the study tracked older people, the value of friends is beneficial to any age group.
Bottom line: Those with a large network of friends outlived those with the fewest friends.
People benefit from friendships in other ways:
- A strong social support helps people cope with stress, says Sheldon Cohen, PhD, a psychology professor atCarnegieMellonU. "Friends help you face adverse events. They provide material aid, emotional support, and information, that helps you deal with the stressors."
- Cohen also says that "Friends encourage you to take better care of yourself. And people with wider social networks are higher in self-esteem, and they have more control over their lives."
- "People with social support have fewer cardiovascular problems and immune problems, and lower levels of cortisol - a stress hormone," says Tasha Howe, PhD, atHumboldtStateU. "They feel more relaxed and at peace, which is related to better health."
A good friend is someone who:
- Is interested in you.
- Is always there for you, no matter what.
- Is never jealous.
- Encourages you to be your best.
- Listens, and does not judge.
- Is trustworthy and reliable.
- Is respectful, honest, loyal, and never gossips.
Personalize the list by adding the qualities you bring to your relationships.
Do women approach friendships differently than men?
Yes, according to Margaret Gibbs, PhD atFairleighDickinsonU. She tells WebMD: "We found that women seemed more geared to empathy, while male friendships are more geared to companionship and altruism. Male friendships are more about helping each other - mending the lawn mower, that sort of thing. Women's friendships tend to have a more emotional content - listening to friends' stories and coming up with helpful solutions."
Do you want to gain new friends? "You can gain more friends by being yourself than you can by putting up a front. You can gain more friends by building people up than you can by tearing them down. And you can gain more friends by taking a few minutes from each day to do something kind for someone, whether it be a friend or a complete stranger. What a difference one person can make," said Sasha Azevado.
Remember,
"When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me [your friend]
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights."
Written by Carole King
Sung by James Taylor
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"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."
Eleanor Roosevelt
"Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."
Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"
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There are acquaintances and there are friends. I don't think you can ever have too many acquaintances because as we all know - "who you know" is important in business and networking. That said, it is unwise to approach these acquaintance relationships with only self-interest in mind. There must be a binding connection, and a give and take present for them to be mutually satisfying.
Building friendships takes time and tender loving care. You must be willing to nurture these relationships for however long they last. Some don't last; friends come and go. Some friendships die gradually, some end abruptly, some lose their importance, and some do last forever. You've experienced it and so have I. It's neither good nor bad. It's life.
Friends; whether they be for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, relish them.
I am inTampathis week spending time with Valerie before school starts up again. The beach beckons.
Have a fantastic week and be a friend.
Stephanie
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We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much!
Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com
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Copyright 2006 - Dr. Stephanie Houseman
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