August 12, 2008

"It's a No"  Have you ever: been the last one picked to join a gym team at school, tried out for a talent show and didn't make the cut, been denied admission to your number one college or graduate school, had your brilliant ideas tossed out by your boss, been denied a second audition just because you had an off day, been refused a promotion at work, or didn't get a date with your dream girl/guy?   "It's a No."  "Rejected!"    You've heard those words before, and I have too.  Never easy, never fun.  Rejection strikes at your very soul. Why?  Because being accepted is one of our primal desires. There's no easy way to hear "I don't want you, or what you have to offer," is there?    How you deal with rejection, though, affects your success in life.  You can dwell in the rejection and remain a victim, or you can rise above it and become a victor.   When you internalize the rejection and tell yourself, "I'm not okay", you block any chances you have of success.  You remain mired in negativity, the "poor me" mentality, and lose hope in ever being accepted again.  Negativity attracts more negativity. Do not wallow in self-pity.  Now would be a good time to revisit your "scrapbook" of achievements and give your bruised ego a boost.    Give it time.  Rejection will occur over and over again, but keep asking and keep trying. Hang in there.  Eventually you will get a "yes". It might not be exactly what you were wishing for from the start, but chances are it will be an even better "yes" to a new adventure.  Remember the adage: some will, some won't, so what - next!  It's true.  You will never get to the "next" if you remain a victim.   Every rejection is a learning opportunity if you keep an open mind. What can you learn that will ease the way for the next time?  Do you need to tweak the way you ask, change voice instructors, learn a new skill for that promotion, or simply be patient for a "yes" when the time is right?  Ask for feedback and take it to heart.       Carry on.  Sooner or later, you will hear: "It's a Yes!"        "I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat."             Sylvester Stallone   "Negation is the mind's first freedom, yet a negative habit is fruitful only so long as we exert ourselves to overcome it, adapt it to our needs; once acquired it can imprison us."             E.M. Cioran               "We keep going back, stronger, not weaker, because we will not allow rejection to beat us down.  It will only strengthen our resolve.  To be successful there is no other way."             Earl G. Graves   "Dear to us are those who love us, but dearer are those who reject us as unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit."             Ralph Waldo Emerson     I'm a sucker for stories.  That's why I was so engrossed in the eliminations from TV's America's Got Talent the other night.  Each contestant had their story and I found it difficult to separate their talent from their story. Yet, it had to be done and the judges made semi-wise decisions over all.  Some contestants took the news well, others not so well.   Judge David Hasselhoff told several of those rejected:   "You've come too far to stop now.  You're closer than you think.  It is the end of this journey, but it is the beginning of a new one."   Yes, rejection is the beginning of a new journey.  Seize the opportunity.   Have a fantastic week and rise above your rejections.   Stephanie   P.S.  I'm going toDisneyworld!  I'm spending some mother-daughter time with Valerie later this week, and instead of going to the beach, we're going toDisneyworld.  We have tickets to theMagicKingdomand the Cirque du Soleil show, La Nouba.  Since I'll be playing, there will be no Balance Beam next week. See you on August 26.   P.P.S.  Are you attending theADAinSan Antoniothis year?  If so, plan on joining us for the American Association of Women Dentists Installation Dinner to be held at the Hyatt Regency Friday October 17.  I will be installed as the 2009 President.  Register today.   P.P.P.S.  If you're a dental professional seeking new opportunities, check out Career Fusion.  Have you ever thought of writing articles or books, doing trade shows, and/or being invited to opinion leader events?  CareerFusion was developed to shorten the learning curve for opinion leaders to get out and start doing what they love most about their career in health care.  From starting up a new business, to podium and computer skills, CareerFusion can help you put together a package to organize your thoughts and gain new focus.  Plus, the corporate partners who attend may bring your ideas to light even faster. Their 2009 meeting will be held in January inDaytona Beach,FL.  Visit them for more inspiration and details.     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com