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Budge From Your Grudge
Attention: Holding a grudge is hazardous to your health.
"Holding a grudge appears to affect the cardiovascular and nervous systems" says a recent edition of the Mayo Clinic Women's HealthSource newsletter. I'll wager a bet the same holds true for males. The strain of holding a grudge "elevates blood pressure, increases muscle tension and heart rates, and intensifies the stressful feeling of being less in control."
Have you ever felt that way?
You've been hurt, as we all have been. The question is, "What have you done with that hurt?"
Have you dug your heels in and replayed the tape over and over again, telling yourself that you are always right? Perhaps the wrongdoing gives you a sense of power or a feeling of security that you just don't want to give up. You won't budge and you don't.
"When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil," said Dale Carnegie.
Or, have you budged, and forgiven, and moved on?
For, "when you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free," said Catherine Ponder.
Easier said than done, dissolving those links? Yes. Even though the pain of the grudge can be so great that it disrupts your daily life and holds you hostage, you remain unable to let it go.
Think about the negative consequences, though. What have you lost by holding onto the grudge? Consider giving it up, for yourself. To set you free.
Take the following steps to forgive, according to Jack Canfield. Excerpted from his book, The Success Principles:
- Acknowledge your anger and resentment.
- Acknowledge the hurt and pain it created.
- Acknowledge the fears and self-doubt that it created.
- Own any part you may have played in letting it occur or letting it continue.
- Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn't get, and then put yourself in the other person's shoes and attempt to understand where he or she was coming from at that time, and what needs the person was trying to meet - however inelegantly - by his or her behavior.
- Let go and forgive that person.
Canfield continues with a forgiveness affirmation to repeat daily:
"I release myself from all the demands and judgments that have kept me limited. I allow myself to go free - to live in joy and love and peace. I allow myself to create fulfilling relationships, to have success in my life, to experience pleasure, to know that I am worthy and deserve to have what I want. I now go free. In that process I release all others from any demands and expectations I have placed on them. I choose to be free. I allow others to be free. I forgive myself and I forgive them. And so it is."
Yes, so it is.
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