July 10, 2007

The One Question to Ask When Life is Complicated   "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated," said Confucius.  Isn't that the truth for many of us?  You want more, do more, buy more, worry more, stress more, eat more, have more, and in the process of getting "more" you complicate your life.  Then you wake up one morning and realize that the "more" has overtaken your life and is eating away at your happiness.    What got you to this point in the first place?  There are several reasons why you tend to make life complicated:   You thrive on the adrenaline rush you associate with complexity.  You love living at the edge, pushing the limits, and being surrounded by the whirlwind of life.  Some may live their entire life this way and never suffer ill effects; others will fall off the edge and realize that their lifestyle is damaging their health, relationships, career, and/or family life.  You choose. You must feed your ego.  Your self-worth depends on the "more".  Outward success and recognition are important to you and you draw attention to yourself by saying, "Look at me and all that I have and do.  Aren't I great?"  The more you have on your plate and the more complicated your life appears, the more accolades you receive from others.  (Little do they know, though, what lies under the surface.) You avoid dealing with what is not working in your life. You are constantly on the lookout for "more" to draw your attention away from what is broken.  You are a pro at remaining in denial.  If you deny it exists and/or you can't or won't fix it, then you just move on to the next thing that comes along and hope the other disappears.  (It usually doesn't.) You have a hard time saying "no" and you aim to please.  So, you'll take on anything to avoid hurting someone's feelings or to make people like you.  What difference does it make if you complicate your life in the process? You are not clear on your vision of the future.  What is it you really want in your life?  What are you working towards?  If you don't know then you will wander aimlessly and allow life to lead you, rather than the other way around.  When you are secure in your vision, you can toss the extras and focus on the necessary. You do not honor your values.  If you value time with your family and you are considering taking a new position which involves lots of travel, where does family time fit into the picture?  What brings meaning to your life?   If you can't answer that question your quest for "more" will overpower you.   The next time you ask yourself questions such as these:  Should I buy a vacation home?  Do I need to hire an associate?  Should I buy this practice?  What kind of car should I buy - a Mercedes or aToyota?  Should I volunteer for the school bazaar?  Should I declare my candidacy for the county board?  Should I build a new office?   Ask yourself this question:  Will what I am considering doing, buying, etc. add to the quality of my life and move me closer to my vision, or will it needlessly complicate my life?          "Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple."             Charles Mingus   "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."             Hans Hofmann   "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.  It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction."             E.F. Schumacker   "Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves."            Edwin WayTeale          I've had complicated and I've had uncomplicated in my life and I much prefer the uncomplicated.  That's not to say I like my life boring.  Actually, when I allow myself to say "no" to the unnecessary and the superfluous, life is much more enjoyable.  New doors open up and present new opportunities. Then I am able to choose which I want to pursue without worrying about all the other "stuff" going on.  I have to admit, though, that I do enjoy the adrenaline rush every so often, but then I hanker for the balance beam. It is my favorite place!   It is wonderful having Valerie home this week.  We've been catching up with school, friends, work, and life inTampa. Johnand I have been catering to her and enjoying every minute of it.  She'll be heading back shortly andJohnand I will be heading out toColorado.   We're spending a few days inEstesParkin the mountains before we travel toColorado Springsto attend the annual meeting of the American Association of Women Dentists.  I will be a featured speaker - "Clarity, Clocks, and Confidence - 3 Roadblocks to Reaching Your Peak Potential."    That said, I am taking a two week hiatus from the Balance Beam and will return on Tuesday, July 31.   Have a fantastic few weeks and ask yourself THE question.   Stephanie        We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com