July 3, 2007

5 Ways to Master the Art of Being   "One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being. While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home. We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren't absorbing the message. As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by. We go through the day rather than getting something from the day. We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time. Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer. Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well."   (Wherever You Are, Be There by Jim Rohn,America's Foremost business philosopher, © 2000 by Jim Rohn International)   We all pride ourselves on living a busy life.  It seems to be a mark of success.  Yet, is it? In your busy life, chances are you often find yourself somewhere else, rather than in the moment. If that is true for you, follow these five tips to help you master the art of being and stay in the moment.   1.                  Listen.  Listening brings your attention to the here and now. But, you must listen without analysis, judgment, expectation, critique, anticipation, or prejudice.  Quiet your mind from these distractions because they rob you of the enjoyment of simply listening and being in the moment. It is draining to engage in a conversation with someone while at the same time judging what they are saying or anticipating what they will say next.  Moreover, it is far more engaging to lose yourself in the melody of the music rather than critiquing the words or the beat.  Clear your head so you can listen with no distractions and no agenda. 2.                  Empty your mind of the past and of the future.  Think about it.  How many times do you let regret, mistakes from the past, failed relationships, and by-gone days enter your thoughts and destroy any chance you have of being in the moment?  Perhaps you often find yourself worrying of what the future holds for you, or what disasters lurk ahead.  These thoughts also keep you from appreciating the present moments.  Practice letting go of these past and future meanderings and turn your attention to the here and now.  Let the moments free flow around you.  3.                  Do one thing at a time.  You might think you are getting ahead of the game by multi-tasking, but are you really?  Your scattered activities keep you from giving your undivided attention to the moment at hand. Can you really connect with your spouse over breakfast while you are reading the newspaper or checking your Blackberry?  Can you enjoy playing a board game with your children while talking on the telephone at the same time?   Stop and smell the roses of the moments that add meaning to your life.  Do not mingle them with moments that take you away from experiencing all that life is giving you at that particular time.  4.                  Release all expectations you have of the moment.  Many of us are masters at setting expectations.  We know what we want, and won't settle for anything else. The problem arises when our satisfaction with the moment does not live up to our expectations, and disappointment sets in.  You've been there, haven't you?  You've planned your day at the beach, have packed a picnic lunch, and have settled into a great sandy spot and lo and behold a rain shower appears out of nowhere. Life will rain on your parade so make lemonade out of the lemons and savor the new moment that will occur. 5.                  Slow down.  Many people are off to the next moment without giving themselves the opportunity to relish and feel gratitude for the moment at hand.  Linger a little longer, laugh a little longer, play catch with your child a little longer, linger in bed with your lover a little longer...What is the rush?  The moment is NOW.     Learn to be there so that you can master the art of living.               "We do not remember days we remember moments."             Cesare Pavase   "Develop an appreciation for the present moment.  Seize every second of your life and savor it.  Value your present moments.  Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you've lost them forever."             Wayne Dyer   "We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment is a miracle and a mystery."             H.G. Wells   "Life is a succession of moments.  To live each one is to succeed."             CoriaKent        A quick get-away toKentuckyLakethis past weekend was a welcome treat.  We met our friends Mimi and Bob there and the four of us savored the moments.  Dinner at Patti's (www.pattis-settlement.com) is a must if you are ever in the area ofGrand Rivers,KYand you must order the pork chops.  Our cabins atKenlakeState Parkwere rustic, but had most of the amenities of home.  Even the tics were out in full force, but fortunately they did not like me.  A pontoon boat ride Sunday morning capped off the weekend and we did not let the rain spoil the moment.    I often multi-task and when I am alone I rarely eat without reading or watching television.  So much for savoring my food.  Neither am I very good at releasing my expectations of moments or emptying my mind of the past and future.  These really dampen my enthusiasm as they get in the way of my being in the moment. I will become more aware of those traits as they are happening so that I can diminish their stranglehold on me.   Valerie will be home fromTampain a few days to spend a week with us.  Summer classes are over, she has a break from work, and she is ready to savor the moments of home.  She hasn't even seen our new kitchen yet, and that means Mom will be cooking more. (Just a bit, mind you.)  She'll even be in town for the Jersey County Fair and the parade on July 10.  Small townAmericaat its best!   Have a fantastic week and master the art of being.   Stephanie        We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com