Parenting puts you front and center on the balance beam and the audience is your children.  They are watching your every move and absorbing it all.  In a recent piece for USA Today, authors Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dunbar wrote “Parenting technique is highly overrated…..It’s not so much what you do as a parent, it’s who you are.”  Parents can talk until they are blue in the face and tell their children to “do as I say”, but it really comes down to “do as I do”. You are setting the example for your children and they are watching closely.

As I write this, Father’s Day is approaching so I am dedicating this issue to my Dad, Dr. Gregory Zotos, and to the parent in all of us.

I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a dentist and follow in the footsteps of my father. I never entertained the thought of another career.  I remember summers working in my father’s office, answering the telephone, greeting patients, and oftentimes assisting chairside.  Dentistry was a natural for me and at the young age of 23 I joined my father in his dental practice.

My eXperiences with Dad have showered me with:
• determination and work ethic – My father immigrated from a small village in Greece when he was 15 and settled in St. Louis where his father had come earlier to seek the American dream.  He learned English, completed high school, college, and dental school, and served in the army for two years. He then opened his dental practice and at the same time worked nights in the movie theatre that my grandfather owned. Some might say he worked too much, but that was his way of providing for his family. This gave him a great sense of accomplishment and pride and I have carried these values into my own life.
• love of family – Our family always came first with my Dad.  His greatest enjoyment was taking care of the four women in his life.  Believe me, he had his hands full, but he loved every minute of it.  To this day family is #1 to him.  I often let my family slip down the priority list as I was building my career.  I can’t go back in time but I can be here NOW.
• unconditional love – My Dad gave me the greatest gift of unconditional love.  I could and did make some big messes in my life but he was always there for me, no questions asked. This is a legacy I continue to bring to my two children.
• caring and warmth – Dad cared deeply for his family, his church, his homeland, and his family of patients. I witnessed this value every day and it is a large part of who I am today and what I bring to my coaching.
• support and guidance – Dad has been an invaluable mentor throughout my life.  Working side by side with him for many years has been an experience I will treasure always.
• dreams – You can follow your dreams and you can experience them as my father taught me. He spoke with pride of his tiny village in Greece and he spoke with pride of finding his dream here in America.  My dreams are rich because of him.

I would be lying if I said that our relationship was always peaches and cream.  Dad and I had many disagreements over the years.  He was very protective and he was always right.  There were times when few words were spoken between us. He would lose his balance, sometimes fall off the balance beam and on more than one occasion he would take a nasty tumble. Our relationship and my life have followed the same pattern.  The constant was that we would each get right back up on the beam and continue forward. Our bond would not be broken.

Parenting is a full time job, 24/7, 365 days a year with no vacation.  You are always on stage and there is no intermission. Just as you observed your parents, your children are observing you.  They watch how you interact with your spouse, your peers, your friends and neighbors, even your pets. They observe all your habits, your energy around money, your satisfaction with your career choice, and they observe how you treat yourself.  What are they seeing?