June 10, 2008

Using Failure to Your Advantage   "The worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you."  (Unknown)   So, you might as well embrace failure and not let it get the best of you.  Easier said than done?  Check your attitude.  "Your attitude toward defeat is crucial to mastering it.  You can see it [defeat] only as a loss or as a chance for gain," said Napoleon Hill.   When you see it as loss, you'll be stopped in your tracks.  You will focus on the failure, and see yourself as a failure, as you take it personally.  Your critical voices will have a field day:  "See, I told you that you would never make it.  Don't try that again.  That was a crazy idea - did you really think you could pull it off?  You spent so much time on that project and see what you got - nothing." You will rarely learn the lessons or seize the opportunities that await you when you listen to these voices.    The lessons are there, though.  You will discover them when you use failure to your advantage.  Use your voices to help you rise above the pain and agony of defeat:  "I did my best under the circumstances.  I can use what I'm learning from this experience to my advantage as I journey forward.  Success is within my grasp."    Napoleon Hill speaks of four benefits of defeat in his book, Napoleon Hill's Keys to Success (and, I add my comments):   Defeat reveals and breaks bad habits, releasing your energies for a fresh start with better habits.  Of course, you must acknowledge what these bad habits are, and then replace them with habits that will work for you and not against you.  The willpower to work through the challenges that you'll experience in developing new habits is crucial.  Keep your eye on the prize as you use your fresh start to your advantage. Defeat supplants vanity and arrogance with humility, paving the way for more harmonious relationships.  Make no mistake; arrogant people feel they are too good to make a mistake. Have you ever met one whom you liked, or one who was liked by others? Imagine the possibilities for greater success, both personally and professionally, when a person remains humble. Defeat causes you to take inventory of your assets and liabilities, both physical and spiritual.  There's nothing like failure to trigger your self-reflection, if you allow yourself to go there.  Go there.  You won't regret it.  Defeat strengthens your willpower by providing it with a challenge to greater effort.  You've learned from your errs; now challenge yourself to go out with greater zeal and energy with your newfound knowledge.  Rise to that challenge.  You can do it.   You can wallow in your failures and expect more of the same with each new day or you can put your failures behind you and seize the new opportunities which will come your way.  You choose.      "Forget about the consequences of failure.  Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success."             Denis Waitley   "We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes.  We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't.  Success often lies just the other side of failure."             Leo F. Buscaglia   "Failure is an event, never a person; an attitude, not an outcome."             Zig Ziglar   "Don't be discouraged by a failure.  It can be a positive experience.  Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."            JohnKeats     When I'm in the midst of failure, it is difficult to see the rainbow.   My rational brain tells me that failure occurs and to pick myself up and move on, because the rainbow will appear.  However my irrational brain takes me on a tailspin. It wants to listen to those negative voices of doom and gloom, again and again.  I have to put the brakes on, sooner rather than later, so that I can hear the wisdom that awaits me.       Life would be boring and shallow if we never had to face obstacles.  We become better men and women when we grow as a result of our failures.  I won't deny that failure is tough to swallow, but it happens to all of us. How we react will determine what lies on the other side of defeat.    Have a fantastic week and use failure to your advantage.   Stephanie   P.S.  It's been wonderful having Valerie home for a few days before she starts her first job as a college grad.  She accepted a position with T.RowePrice and is staying inTampa.  This is an exciting time for her and for me andJohnas both our children (JohnG is a private investigator) are now becoming self-sufficient.  (Is that possible?)      P.P.S.  It is not too early to schedule a speaking engagement for your group for this fall and winter.  I can customize a program to fit your needs.  E-mail me today.  If you are close toPhoenix, I will be speaking November 15 at the Hispanic Dental Association Annual Meeting.  Join us.      We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com