March 31, 2009

What Did You Just Say?   "You're stupid.  You can't do anything right.  How many times have I shown you how to get that done?" "Carol, you are great at thinking ahead.  You helped make the procedure today go smoothly." "You made a fool of yourself at the party tonight.  And that's not the first time you've embarrassed me.  Why can't you straighten up and fly right?" "Johnny, I love the picture you painted, it is so colorful.  I'm going to have it framed.  And I appreciate you helping me clean off the kitchen table when you finished."   What did you just say?    Handle your words carefully because "words have the power to both destroy and heal," said Buddha.   How often do words come out of your mouth without a moment's thought? Yet the effects of what you said can last a lifetime.  The majority of time, we remember the "bad" that was said to us, and often forget the "good".    So, the next time you're ready to spout, follow these tips from author and consultant, Dave Weber to tame your tongue. (from his book, Sticks and Stones Exposed)   Is what you're about to say kind?  If your words will tear down, scratch, harm, or dent someone, don't share those words. Is it true?  It is difficult to know the truth when the words and the story have passed through many ears.  How embellished is the story when it finally gets to you?  If you can't check the validity of the words, don't share them. Is it confidential?  You are betraying the trust of the person who confided in you when you start your words by saying, "I shouldn't be telling you this, but..." Is it necessary?  Does the other person need to know what you're about to share?  Get your ego and need to talk out of the way.  When you give up your platform others will become more receptive to your words.   You cannot deny the power of the words you say, not only in your personal life, but also in your business world.  You will attain more happiness and success when you speak words of kindness and encouragement rather than words of defeat and ridicule.    Make the world a better place with the words you just said.     "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."   Mother Theresa   "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach."             Winston Churchill   "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."             Dorothy Nevill   "When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you.  When it is unspoken you reign over it."             Arabian proverb     We've all been the receiver and the perpetrator of misspoken words. It's not pretty.  Then we cause further damage to our spirit by playing back the words we just heard or said, over and over again, just as the other person is doing the same.  How much better would it be to stop, take a breath, and think of the impact your words will have on someone before you speak them? When you're in the heat of the moment, that's probably the last thing you are thinking, I know.  I've been there too.   So let's challenge ourselves to become more cognizant of the words we speak and how they will impact those we interact with.  Will our words destroy or will they uplift?       Have a fantastic week and "what did you just say?"   Stephanie   P.S.  I'm sure there were harsh words being said at the Southwest Airlines ticket counter the other day, but not by me.  I kept my cool and rolled with the punches.  Two hours into my flight fromPortlandtoKansas City,MOwhere I was to make a connection back toSt. Louis, the pilot got on the speaker and said we were heading BACK toPortlandbecause the snow and ice closed the KC airport.  What!!  And no sooner did we get back toPortlandthat the KC airport opened back up so those who wanted to continue on could get back on the plane. That included me. I ended up spending the night in KC before heading back home Sunday morning, on a flight delayed fromChicagobecause of their snow.    I'm flying Southwest (which really is my favorite airline) again later this week as John and I travel to visit with Valerie inTampa.  I'm looking forward to seeing her and enjoying the sunshine.   P.P.S.  My latest Mentor's Mind column is "Create a Positive Attitude Zone".  Receive insights into how your attitude affects your success at work.    One more P.S.  My colleague, Dr. Steffany Mohan has developed a program for dentists to get more new patients, keep your existing ones, and grow your practice, at the same time making your practice more fun and profitable.  Check out the GKG Method.     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com