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Value Hidden Treasures
Do you ever wonder why you just don’t “feel” right in a given situation? Do you take stock when life is “working” for you? Can you put into words the feelings behind your actions?
The hidden treasure behind the answers to the above questions is your values. Do you take your values for granted and nary give them a thought? Do you know what your values are and can you put them down on paper? A newsletter reader asked me to write about values, and a few days after that my husband and I had a conversation about his values that were stomped on when he took his dental boards many years ago. Yes, he still remembers. Such is the power of values.
What are values?
• Values are your guiding lights.
• They are your deeply held beliefs by which you lead your life.
• They are the essence of who you are.
• Your values point out to you what it means to be true to oneself.
• When you honor your values you are leading a life of fulfillment.
• They must be consistently acted on in all areas of your life.
• When the going gets tough, it is important to remain committed to your values.
• Align your life, both personally and professionally, with your core values.
There are several ways you can determine your values, so grab a piece of paper and start writing.
1. Look back over your life and recall times when you felt completely yourself – when you felt alive, excited, and full of energy. Keep this to a specific moment so it will be easier to pinpoint specific values. Perhaps it was when you graduated from dental school and the dean handed you your diploma. If so, maybe one of your key values is learning or accomplishment. Or perhaps it was when you crossed the finish line in the marathon you ran. If so, maybe one of your key values is fitness, or health, or accomplishment again.
2. Remember times when you felt frustrated, angry, or upset. During these times, it is highly probable that one or more of your values was being suppressed or violated. What was happening during this time of great frustration or anger? What was the value(s) that was violated?
3. Make a list of what you MUST have in your life in order to be fulfilled.
Now you can make a list of your values. For each value, bullet point out your definition of it. For example, to someone who lists professionalism as a value, it could mean consistently giving 5 star service to all of their clients, whereas to another person professionalism might mean always showing up on time for appointments.
Next, prioritize your values in order of importance to you in your life. Give yourself a score from 1-10 next to each value depicting how well this value is being honored in your life at this time. 10 means it is being honored completely and 1, not at all honored. You can even go further and write down the specific ways in which each value is being honored and/or dishonored. Be honest with yourself. Deep down you know if a value is being violated.
Then, make yourself an action chart. Next to each value and situation in which you wish to raise the score, write down what you need to do to accomplish that. Set a deadline to give yourself an impetus to get it done.
When you honor your values:
1. You fuel your motivation to achieve your goals.
2. You undermine your inner critic and are able to move forward because you increase the confidence you have in yourself.
3. You live a fulfilling life.
4. Your “joy number” increases.
Values are indeed the hidden treasures in your life. Let them be your guiding lights. If you would like worksheets to help you put your thoughts on paper, please send an e-mail to drszh@7steps2abalancedlife.com with “Values” in the subject line and I will send them to you (free). If you would like to schedule a one hour coaching session ($99) to explore your values further, please call me at 618-639-LIFE or e-mail me.
Reference: Co-Active Coaching by Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phil Sandahl
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