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Who's in Your Circle of 5?
Name the 5 people you spend the most time with, excluding your family.
Tell me about these 5 people. What is their character? What are they doing, saying, reading, thinking, and feeling? Who are the 5 people they hang out with the most? What is their character?
You might think that peer pressure exists only for young people, but that is not true. The impact the 5 people in your circle have on you does not stop when you become an adult. Look around and you can see the validity of that statement.
Therefore, evaluate the influence your 5 people have on you. List their positive and yes, their negative impacts. Are you inspired, motivated, and encouraged, or are you disillusioned, manipulated, and downtrodden when you are with them?
Two types of people exist, according to world-renowned marine artist Wyland. They are either motors or anchors. "You want to lose the anchors and get with the motors because the motors are going somewhere and they're having more fun. The anchors will just drag you down," he said.
So, take your list from above and place a plus sign (motor) or a negative sign (anchor) next to each person's name, depending on how they affect you.
Reality check. If you are around people who constantly lie, chances are you will lie. If you associate with people who spend every dime they earn, chances are you will have no savings either. On the other hand, if you spend your time with people of high character and who are movers and shakers, chances are you will become one also.
Acknowledge your feelings towards your 5 people and ask yourself if it is to your benefit that you spend time with them. If the answer is no, then change is due.
If you're thinking that you need to remove the negative people from your life, you're right. Realistically, it is not always possible to make this happen (but in severe cases it must be done), so what are your other choices?
- You can limit the amount of time you spend with them. Your time is valuable and must be spent with people who support and understand you and help move you forward towards your goals. Do not waste much of your time on energy drainers and people who demotivate you. Say "no" to them.
- If you must spend time with these anchors, speak with them about your concerns for the relationship. Be honest and share your feelings, ("I feel... when you ..."). If those conversations prove fruitless, make an exit.
- Terminate those employees who are negative and toxic. Life at the office will be so much more pleasant.
How can you associate with more motors, now that you have openings in your circle of 5?
Take the initiative. Find a mentor, a mastermind group, or someone you admire, and associate and learn from them. Find out what makes them a success. Don't know anyone personally? Who do you know that can help get you an introduction? Pull out all the stops.
If you cannot communicate in person with some of the motors you've chosen, seek out their books, tapes, CDs, videos, etc. Search the internet. Soak in all of the information that is yours for the taking.
"You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with," said motivational speaker Jim Rohn. Who is on your short list? Make them positive, forward thinking, and successful people who will encourage you to be the best that you can be.
Associate with the motors and get somewhere - the place you want to be!
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