January 20, 2009

Are You Genuinely Interested?   You are in a room full of people.  You know no one.  There is nowhere to hide and you cannot leave.  You must mingle.    Have you ever been there?   What's a person to do?   Express genuine interest in someone there!  That's right.  Walk right up to someone and be interested in THEM.    How will you do this?   Start by introducing yourself, get the other person's name and then ask questions.  Get them talking about themselves (people love this).  Then, listen.  "Such displays of interest are the fundamental building blocks of successful human relationships.  They are the little details that say, 'You are important to me.  I'm interested.  I care.' Very few people in this world mind hearing that," said Dale Carnegie.   How else can you express genuine interest in others?    You can lean towards the person who is speaking. Maintain eye contact. People love to hear their name!  Say it often. Smile. Keep an open mind and stay away from judgment. Be considerate.   Do you express genuine interest in those at the workplace?  It is not enough to have the newest, shiniest, most expensive, up-to-date equipment if it is not coupled with the owner and employees showing genuine interest in each other and their customers.  Make yourself available to those who surround you. To paraphrase, people don't care how much you know or how glitzy you are; they want to know that you care.   Pick up the telephone and call someone just to say "hi", send a personal note to a friend in need, ask someone how you can help them, take an employee to lunch, or take your boss to lunch. Ask the grocery clerk how his day is going.  Be creative in how you express interest.   "Once you start this process [both in your personal and professional life], it will quickly become a natural part of your life.  Before you know it, you'll be expressing interest, showing interest, and really becoming more interested in the people around you.  The added benefit is that a genuine interest in others will take you outside yourself and make you less focused on whatever your own problems are.   The more you stay focused on other people, the more rewarding your personal relationships will be and the fewer negative thoughts you will have.  Not a bad payback for a few kind words," continued Carnegie.   Greater interest in others leads to fewer negative thoughts!  That's worth checking out.   Expressing genuine interest in others "is one of the most basic facts of human psychology.  We are flattered by other people's attention.  It makes us feel special.  It makes us feel important.  We want to be around people who show interest in us.  We want to keep them close.  We tend to reciprocate their interest by showing interest in them."  Dale Carnegie, from his book The Leader In You.   Everyone wins when genuine interest is expressed.       "You are far more likable and respectful when you are asking about the thoughts and opinions of others."             Ron Clark   "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."             Leo Buscaglia   "During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz.  I breezed through the questions until I read the last one:  "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"  Surely this was a joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade.  "Absolutely," the professor said.  "In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello."  I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy."             Joann C. Jones     Expressing genuine interest in others will go a long way in helping you cultivate meaningful relationships, both personally and professionally.  It is a habit worth learning and practicing.  People respond positively to expressions of interest, kindness, and caring so get out of your own world and meet them in theirs. It's really not that difficult; you just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it.  And then do it.   So, ask questions, listen, lean in just a bit closer, smile and be there for the other person.  Be sincere and convey to the other person that they are important to you.  You'll be glad you did.   Have a fantastic week and express genuine interest in others.   Stephanie     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com