February 2, 2010

Soften Your Body Language and Appear Strong   You haven't even opened your mouth and your audience (be it one person, a team, or a group of people) is already looking away.  They are not interested.    What happened? Did your body language turn them off?   You want to appear strong and confident and command the conversation, not disappear from it.  Therefore, you must...   Soften your body language.   S-O-F-T-E-N:   S:  Smile.  A smile opens the door to others.  It says: "welcome".  It conveys pleasure.  "I'm glad you're here with me.  I'm happy to have your business."  Service with a smile!  A smile is also a sign of a glass half-full attitude.  So, smile the next time you get in front of an audience, be it one person, ten, or more.   O:  Open Posture.  Crossed arms put up barriers to others and make you appear to be on the defensive.   It blocks the communication and breaks the connection that you want to achieve with the other person.  Uncross your arms when speaking with others and welcome them into the conversation.   F:  Lean Forward.  When you lean forward in a conversation you show that you are interested, engaged, and attentive to what that person has to say.  Just a bit of a lean will demonstrate that you are "present" in the conversation.   T:  Tone of Voice.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone who was stone-faced?  You couldn't tell what they were feeling!  That's why tone of voice is critical in communication - it carries the feelings and emotions behind the words that come out of someone's mouth.  In essence, it carries your words to a new dimension.   E:  Eye Contact.  The eyes have it for enhancing the connection between people.  When you maintain eye contact with someone, you show them that they have your undivided attention and that they are the most important person in the room. Breaking eye contact will break the connection you are trying to achieve.   N:  Nod to Acknowledge.  Nod your head to acknowledge that you are listening, you're paying attention.  It's a small gesture that speaks volumes.    Build rapport and establish a connection with others by softening your body language.  You will appear strong, confident, and competent when you do.   Soften technique courtesy of rubyspeaks.     "I speak two languages, Body and English."             Mae West   "Deafness has left me acutely aware of the duplicity that language is capable of and the many expressions the body cannot hide."             Terry Galloway   "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."             Peter Drucker   "When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, the practiced man relies on the language of the first."             Ralph Waldo Emerson     Analyzing body language is the rage these days on many of the news programs.  Since I love to people-watch, I find the whole process rather intriguing.  What are people saying with their body language?  What does the raising of the eyebrow mean?  What does pointing your chin down say?  What's with playing with your hair?  Furthermore, I don't care for the finger-pointing going on!  What people are saying with their body language is often way different than the words that are coming out of their mouths.  You have to pay attention.   Be on the lookout and see if you can decipher the hidden message behind the words being spoken by those around you.  Play detective.  What did you learn?  Then notice what your own body language is saying.   Have a fantastic week and soften your body language.   Stephanie     We grow by "word-of-email" so please feel free to forward this newsletter to anyone whom you think might benefit from and enjoy it. Thanks so much! Contact Us: stephanie@7steps2abalancedlife.com