Call it intuition or the power of positive thinking, but I just knew when I went to sleep the other night that I was going to win! You see, I was at a recent presentation by Dr. Tom Hill (www.eagleinstitute.com) and he has a select mastermind of the who’s who in the coaching/motivational world which meets three times a year.  Dr. Hill told the group present at the workshop to send him emails why they should be invited to attend this powerful summit and he would pick someone to attend free of charge.  So I sent my email, reminding him who I was (since I introduced myself to him at the break) and lo and behold, I received an email back that I had been chosen to attend.  Yes, it’s true and all I had to do was ask!

Asking for what you want; a powerful action, and yet many find it difficult.  Why is this so?
• You fear rejection; the other person will say “no”.  Think about this.  If you don’t ask, you aren’t going to get what you want anyway so the answer is “no” before you even open your mouth.  So, what is there to lose by asking?  When you don’t ask you deny yourself the opportunity to hear a “yes”.
• You feel that you don’t deserve to have what you want.  This is an issue of your low self-esteem.
• You feel you will be perceived as weak, foolish, stupid, and unable to go it alone.
• On the other hand, you want others to know you are strong and that you don’t need anyone’s help.
• You really don’t want to know the answer, but the question is great.  If you want to ask your boss how to better yourself in the workplace (and score brownie points), but then aren’t willing to take the suggestions, what’s the point of asking?
• If you ask, and receive a “yes”, then you will have to prove yourself worthy of the request.
• You feel it is just easier to do it yourself than deal with the “no”. 

When the pain of not getting what you want becomes too great and you are tired of missing out on what you want in life you will be ready to start asking with vigor.  Follow these tips for easier asking:
• Start with simple requests as you build your confidence. 
• Ask with confidence and expect that the answer will be “yes”.
• Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want.  Keep your requests positive.
• Request.  Do not demand and do not manipulate!
• Be specific and clear as to what you are asking for.  Being wishy washy just doesn’t make the grade.
• If you ask one person and they are unable to help, ask if they know someone else who can.  Broaden your request.
• Be willing to negotiate a compromise if you can still get what you want.
• Be sincere; ask from the heart and allow your passion to come through.
• Accept rejection freely and move on.  Next!  There are more fish in the sea.
• One person might say “no” today, but “yes” six months from now, so remain persistent.  (This plays out in your dental practice when the patient says “no” today to the treatment plan, but “yes” at a later date.)
• Give something to get something back.  Answer what’s in it for the other person to help you.

What do you want to ask for?  Once you begin to ask more freely you will find that you receive more out of life.  Why settle for less when it can be yours for the asking?  Go for it; you’ve got nothing to lose.

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
 Mahatma Gandhi

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve.  First you have to figure out what you want.  Second, you have to decide that you deserve it.  Third, you have to believe you can get it.  And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.”
 Barbara DeAngelis

“You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
 Zig Ziglar

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.  For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
 Matthew 7:7, 8

But that was then and now is now.  There are still traces of that shy quiet girl of long ago that surface periodically, but I pride myself on making a concerted effort to get myself out there. Sometimes I even surprise myself in some of the things I do and say. I have come to realize that good things come to those who ask and it’s not really all that difficult.  If at first I don’t succeed, I’ll try again.  Truly, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain (like going to the mastermind summit).  I am so glad I asked.

Have a great week and ASK! 

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