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What’s Your Joy Number?
Chances are you’ve heard those sleep number mattresses advertised all the time on the radio and television. You have one number and your partner can have another number and then you both joyfully sleep on the same bed. There’s no more tossing and turning, waking up with sore muscles, and no more arguing with your partner about what kind of mattress to buy. This sleep number ad campaign is really quite clever and catchy. Everyone who has this bed knows what his or her sleep number is.
How many of you know what your joy number is? I coined this term to give an insight into the level of joy and contentment one feels. How content are you? Is your joy based on society’s outward signs of success such as all the latest dental equipment in your office, a big house, or even two houses, a closet full of name brand clothes, shoes, and purses, trips every year, driving an expensive car, or having your children going to the right schools and excelling in sports? Or is the joy you experience an enduring contentment: a deep down, soul satisfying joy?
Joy is not meant to be short-lived, contingent on having that patient say “yes” to the treatment plan, or buying that expensive piece of equipment because everyone else has it or the salesman told you that it would boost your production by X percent. We tend to get caught up in the “more is better” trend in society, looking outside ourselves for validation and joy. “I’ll be happy when I meet my goal for the month or I’ll be happy when I lose fifteen pounds.” I find that this only brings fleeting moments of joy and then we’re off to the next thing, whatever that may be. As Margaret Runbeck said, “happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a matter of traveling”.
What happens when you turn the tide and look inward? What is your internal joy number? What are you really thirsty for? For me, it is the joy of “being”, the soul satisfying contentment with my life. It is to be joyful right now and in this place. Who has the power to choose to be joyful? The answer of course lies with you.
Show me a person who is not living according to their values and I will show you one unhappy person with a low joy number. Values define who you are right now, not who you want to be or who you think you should be. They serve as your compass to a fulfilling life, one in which you are true to yourself. When you honor your values you have direction and purpose in your life. Making life decisions becomes easier when they are viewed through your deep personal values.
What impact do your beliefs have on your joy number? This default setting includes all the beliefs you have about yourself, your background, and your abilities. Beliefs can stop you dead in your tracks or empower you to new heights. Most of these beliefs formed in your very early ages and to this day they hang around to influence the choices you make. What do you believe about yourself? Limiting or negative beliefs give your self-esteem a beating. On the other hand, empowering beliefs are indicative of your self-love, trust, and faith.
Ask yourself these questions: “What is it costing me in my life to tell myself that I am not worthy? and “How will my life be different when I approach it from a loving, trusting belief in myself?” Believe in yourself and feel your joy number increase.
Your body is a reflection of your inner thoughts and beliefs. Dig out some old photographs of yourself, alone and with family and friends and write down what you see. Really look at yourself and notice what vibes your body is projecting. Are you crouched over, smiling, crying, is your jaw tense, is your arm around someone else or are you standing rigid? Do you have a scowl on your face and appear angry? Does everyone in the picture appear to be having a great time or is one person spoiling the picture? What was going on in your life when the picture was taken? A picture is worth a thousand words and is indicative of your joy number.
James Oppenhelm said “The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows it under his feet.” It is the connection you have with yourself that brings you inner joy. What is your joy number? What is possible for you as you live with inner joy, contentment, and gratitude? What do you need to do now to make that happen?
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